I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
