im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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