took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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