I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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