GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
