thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
