love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
