I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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