there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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