I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
