I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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