i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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