there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
