I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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