I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
