That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
