I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
