So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
