in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize