It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
