I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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