You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
