even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
