You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
