Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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