Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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