Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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