$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
