She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
