I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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