I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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