I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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