I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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