some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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