I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize