hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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