I forgot how hot balto sounded
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
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I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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