I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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