hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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