my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
