I think I won the penis lottery.
so let's talk penis.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
