East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
