i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
