Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
