were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize