So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
