Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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