just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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