The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
