We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
