I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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