How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize