the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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