I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
