I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
