remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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