Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
