I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
