we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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