i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
