I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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