Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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