So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
