I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
